Am I "Sick Enough" for Eating Disorder Therapy? Challenging Self-Comparison and Morality Around Food and Body
Reaching out for help for an eating disorder can be one of the scariest and most vulnerable actions you’ll ever take, and you may be carrying some doubts about whether your own struggles qualify you as being “sick enough” for therapy. Questioning the validity of your eating disorder is super common, and it’s worth exploring the possibility that this line of thinking is a feature of the eating disorder rather than a reason not to seek support. Eating disorders are notorious for perpetuating beliefs about your self-worth and how you compare to others, and it’s time we shed light on why where you are today is “enough” for you to deserve help - because you matter, and your story is important.
Reaching Out for Help: When Things Become Unmanageable
Feeling like things have gotten away from you in some way is reason enough to seek out an eating disorder therapist. There is no such thing as “sick enough” when it comes to how an issue is affecting YOU. If things have started to feel unmanageable, whether that’s because of physical health concerns, stress, or impaired daily functioning, any level of struggle is enough to warrant professional support. Acknowledging that things have reached a point where extra help is needed is a significant step towards reclaiming a sense of balance in your life. I’m referring to actual balance here, not the kind of “balance” sold to us by diet culture.
The Struggle with Comparison and Self-Invalidation
Questioning your struggles and comparing them to others is a common eating disorder tactic, and one that’s known to make you feel miserable in a matter of seconds. Eating disorders love to compete, but in this kind of competition, there is no winner. The target is always moving, and what you think of as “sick enough” now won’t necessarily feel that way if you get there. Everyone’s experience with eating disorders is equally valid and deserving of support, and this is true independent of weight, shape, or other people’s opinions of how sick you are. Not everyone will understand your journey, but that doesn’t make it any less valid, and no arbitrary measure (I see you, BMI) can ever adequately gauge the severity of what you are going through.
The Endless Battle with Food Morality
In reality, there are no “good” or “bad” foods, but eating disorders often lead to moralizing of food choices. This is black-and-white thinking, and it can only make you more fearful of food, making it harder to break the cycle of restriction that can lead to a variety of other eating disorder behaviors. The same goes for body size. Equating thinness with health despite so many people trying to lose weight by any (dangerous) means necessary reinforces the harmful misconception that thinness is inherently virtuous or healthy. Therapy is a great place to challenge these beliefs!
Food is Essential for ALL Bodies: Questioning Self-Worth and Nourishment
We all deserve to eat. That includes those of you who feel or have been told that your body takes up too much space. We eat for survival. We eat for joy. We eat for so many reasons, and there is no explanation required. It’s natural to question whether you deserve to eat ONLY because that is the message that those of us who live in bigger bodies have been given, but not because it’s actually true that you need to earn your food. Food is a requirement for living, and denying yourself nourishment can only lead to physical and emotional turmoil in the long run. Understanding where these ideas come from and challenging them one by one in therapy can lead to a more peaceful relationship with food and yourself over time. You weren’t born questioning whether you deserved to eat; that belief was learned. Unlearning it will take time (and a strong support system), but it isn’t as impossible as it may feel today.
The idea that you need to be “sick enough” for eating disorder therapy isn’t true. There is no list of criteria that earns you the right to get help. Many people are navigating life with symptoms of disordered eating (hello, diets) or diagnosable eating disorders. Both groups are equally deserving of support. While comparison, invalidating your struggles, and moralizing food and bodies are common features of eating disorders, these are all things that are worth challenging within the context of a strong therapeutic alliance. Reaching out for help means that on some level you are able to recognize that things have become unmanageable and that you want to regain your footing. Seeking therapy at any stage in your journey, even if you aren’t sure how “bad” it is, is a courageous step in the healing process, and it might just lead you that much closer to your unique vision for recovery.
