Will I gain weight in recovery?

I know this is a question that has likely been on your mind as you consider whether to reach out for help, and while I wish I could give you a concrete answer that feels satisfying, the truth is that no one who knows anything about bodies and eating disorders can answer this question definitively. Your body has the ultimate say on where it wants to be, and we won’t know where that is until it feels safe and fully nourished. This takes time and often comes with a variety of changes that may or may not feel like they make sense. Just like in person to person relationships, building mutual trust between you and your body takes time and consistency. That means feeding your body adequately for as long as it takes for it to know that famine isn’t coming, and then not letting up on the commitment to nourishing it once it’s reached that place. This is much easier said than done, and I’m here to navigate this with you as any fear comes up along the way.

Can you tell me what to eat?

In a word: no. I wouldn’t want to rob you of the opportunity to follow your body’s internal guidance. I don’t believe in fostering dependence on a clinician, and I will never pretend to have all the answers. That being said, if you are seeking nutritional guidance, there are many fantastic dietitians that I would be happy to collaborate with throughout your recovery journey. The bottom line is that, unlike diets, we will not create more food rules for you to follow or force you to weigh and measure yourself and your food. Telling you what to eat would not take into account your natural preferences, cultural comfort foods, or any aversions you may have to taste, smell, texture, etc. I want to honor what feels important to you and what fits into your actual lifestyle, not some “ideal” that society has told us we should be striving for. Contrary to what social media may tell you, there are no perfect foods, just as there are no perfect bodies!

What do I do if my doctor tells me I need to lose weight? Don’t I have to do that for my health?

Unfortunately, so many people experience weight bias at the hands of medical professionals who are supposed to have our best interest in mind. While I can’t guarantee what a doctor will say, I am happy to help prepare you for appointments and talk through how to advocate for yourself at the doctor’s office/collaborate with your medical team as needed. The medical community continues to use stigmatizing language and inaccurate measures in an attempt to determine who is “healthy.” Once we review the history of tools like the body mass index (BMI), you will see why this so-called “indicator of health” is anything but!

Will you make me…(go to treatment, gain/lose weight, give up smoking/drinking, etc.)?

Anything that follows the first half of that sentence is sure to be answered with a no. While I can help you talk through the pros and cons of various behaviors and choices, you are fully capable of making your own decisions. I strongly believe in client agency, which means that I do not dictate anything about your treatment. That doesn’t mean that I won’t point out the warning signs and hold you accountable for the things that are important to you (if accountability is one of your goals), but at the end of the day you are the one who is in control of your process. For me, therapy is me helping you chart your desired path and identifying your own values (often through the lens of harm reduction); it is not about a power-grab.

How is therapy with you different?

My personal flavor of therapy is one that features you in all your main character energy. I am a proud witness in your process, but I am not here to take credit for your hard work. If you show up for yourself, I will show up for you in whatever ways are needed on any given day. Some days, that might mean helping you come up with some journal prompts to try in between sessions to facilitate deeper exploration or working together to challenge thoughts that feel like they are no longer serving you. Other weeks may look like me quietly listening as you come to your own conclusions about what is keeping you stuck. My priority is making space for your process to unfold as it needs to. I don’t believe in toxic positivity or gaslighting. If you are having a rough day/week/month/year, I will not tell you that you shouldn’t feel that way. Fuck the shoulds! Let’s deal with what IS. It’s okay to not be okay. I am also not here to judge you if you are using eating disorder behaviors. They have helped you cope in one way or another, and I feel it is important to look at the ways in which you learned to adapt to stressful or traumatic situations by using them. Controversial take: That’s smart! While they may no longer be serving you, they once did, and that deserves some airtime. No one recovers through being shamed for doing what they knew to do at the time to keep themselves going. Understanding what has “worked” is just as important as understanding what no longer does. We have to get to the core of what your needs are so that we can find new ways for you to meet them. This gets to happen one step at a time, slowly venturing outside your comfort zone and easing into changes that feel manageable. Sure, it’s not as flashy as the “do everything at the same time and see what sticks” method, but there’s a higher likelihood of making sustainable changes when you are not shut down and in overwhelm. You get to define your own recovery, and no arbitrary definition of “fully recovered” can do that for you. Let’s figure it out together!

Do you take insurance?

I don’t, but I’m happy to provide a superbill for you to submit to your insurance company for potential reimbursement. I recognize that therapy is an investment of time and money, and for some people that requires finding a provider on their insurance panels. While I’m not able to meet that need, I am happy to see if there is anyone I know who may be able to help.

How long are sessions and how often should they take place?

Each session is 50 minutes long, starting at the scheduled time. I typically see my clients weekly, at least at first. As you’ve started making progress towards the goals you’ve chosen to work on, we can decide together when it might be time to taper down to less frequent sessions. At the end of the day, finances may also factor in to how often we meet. While meeting weekly is standard at the beginning of a therapeutic relationship, decisions about session frequency are made on a case-by-case basis.