Eating Disorder Treatment and the Illusion of “Perfect”
Admittedly, I've been sitting on this post for a while. Feeling the pressure to have my first blog on this site be something "groundbreaking," I waited for "perfect" inspiration to hit. Just like so many people out there (is it YOU?), I often struggle with the idea of perfectionism. I tell my eating disorder clients all the time the cold hard truth that perfection doesn't exist, so why do I still pursue it with such tenacity at times? That's when I knew what my first blog needed to be about.
Maybe you've found your way to my corner of the internet because you struggle with your own perfectionistic tendencies. My dear reader, you are in good company. The world has sold us on this idea that if we beat ourselves up enough - hit people with enough self-deprecating jokes, scrutinize our bodies enough, and burn ourselves out until we've got nothing left to give - we can reach that elusive place known as "perfect." But it's a lie. Just like there's no such thing as the perfect blog, there's no such thing as the perfect body, the perfect food (although I would argue that chocolate is pretty damn close), or the perfect anything.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Well, because it’s what we've learned to do. At the risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorist for a second, we've literally been programmed to believe that perfection is something to strive for. Take a look around. I dare you to turn on the TV, scroll through what I’ve not-so-affectionately termed “TikToxic,” read through Apple News, or walk down the street without being bombarded in one way or another by an ad campaign hell bent on making you feel like you aren't thin enough, young enough, smart enough, or rich enough - that you don't own enough makeup, eat the "right" amount of the "right" foods, that your skin isn't flawless - but XYZ product will fix everything for you! You can't do it, because these messages are everywhere.
Guess what: There's nothing to be fixed. You are not perfect (because no one is), yet who you are is just fine as is. Amazing, even. But I don't blame you for thinking otherwise. It's taken some time to form the beliefs you have, whether through the media, parents, friends...and it's going to take time to pluck those messages out by the root and replace them with more loving and accepting ones. I'm over here doing that same work alongside you. So I'm letting go of my need to write the perfect post and writing about perfectionism instead. This will likely be the first of many posts on this topic, so stay tuned.
What can you let go of today in pursuit of a perfectly imperfect life?
